Life is wonderful with the whole family together. We still have our daily tasks of medications taken multiple times a day, Clark’s eye drops, and managing the house. But it is so lovely to have our family dinners and watch the boys play “superhero” together.
Unfortunately, there are still days where I grow a massive knot in my stomach.
The other night, Clark woke up in the middle of the night. He sounded congested. My heart stopped. Was I hearing things? Is he getting sick? Does he have a fever? Do I call the hospital’s 24 hour line or wait and see?
My mind races… How on earth could Clark have caught a cold? He has been in complete isolation. And I know we aren’t lenient when it comes to isolation. In fact, there are some things that we are overly cautious about (even more so than the doctors). For example, doctors say Clark is allowed to play outside away from crowds without a mask, but I’ve decided to keep his mask on for these outings away from everyone. And, almost every time we go out something ends up happening, whether it is a dog running up to us, a strong breeze blowing construction dust in our direction, or someone mowing their lawn. I’d rather error on the side of safety than sorrow.
In some cases, sanity prevails and I decide to wait and see. But of course, I have him sleep in our bed to watch over him! Under normal circumstances – this is something we would never, ever do. But I’m comforted by being able to listen to his breathing, watching to make sure the congestion was in my imagination.
And sure enough, once Clark stops crying his breathing is quiet and clear.
The next day he is back to being a normal boy (with the caveat that normal in our family isn’t quite like others, of course). No signs of sickness.
Sometimes I feel like the worry could literally kill me, while other times I’m sure it is exactly what is saving Clark’s life. Maybe that makes it “just the right amount” of worry?
Yay!!! A new update! Sorry I didn’t check for a few days.
You are an amazing Mom, Bethany. I believe you are right, when you write, “Sometimes I feel like the worry could literally kill me, while other times I’m sure it is exactly what is saving Clark’s life.”
I know that you and Patrick are doing everything possible to protect Clark and shield him from potential contaminants that could make him ill. I think you and Patrick are truly superheroes. I love the photos! Love and hugs to all of you!
Love the superhero costume! He looks well and happy. Trust your instincts and you will be okay. You may feel overly cautious but if you didn’t do what you felt was right and he did get sick, you would never forgive yourself. You know your son the best out of everyone. Trust you are making the right decisions because you are. That smile on his face proves it.
Hugs to all and Happy Canadian Thanksgiving ( a week in advance).
Kanval